From meditation to Mediation

The last few years have been an amazing journey from starting mindfulness training in Ireland with 20 people in Foxford 2013 to expanding to empowering over 2000 people as of this year. Add in 10 HSE hospitals to rave reviews and scoring 10/10 consistently. Mindful Beauty Days for HSE nurses.

The next stage of the journey is now mediation

Earlier this year, I am glad to say, mediation legislation came into law in Ireland. This means a mediator needs to be registered  and can be asked by the courts or called by the courts in cases. Many judges welcome the initiative especially when you think of the long process traditional legal routes such as litigation and arbitration can take.

Some commentators say the average legal costs of a divorce now in Dublin can be on average 20,000 Euros. This can take lots of time, stress and distress waiting for court dates. Whereas mediation by comparison can cost on average 2000 Euros a saving of 18,000 Euros and could be done and dusted with a legal agreement in a day. The process is also far less adversarial.

Mediators who do this work need extra training for divorce and separation in addition to their foundation training.

So disputes can be resolved in a fast and efficient manner. They say that 4 out of 5 mediation's succeed. Judges may send people to mediation now also prior to litigation to see if the dispute can be worked out through official mediation. The benefits of mediation are seen to also in the future reduce backlog in the courts.

For those who know me I am a bit of a fan of Dr Phil and I just love it when he asks arguing couples, 'Which do you want? To be right or happy?' But this can be applied a lot in disputes. Before they enter mediation each side can believe they are in the right and the courts is where you will get justice. To be frank people should not go to court for justice as you go to court for the law, for legal chess, and justice 'seen to be done'. Going for anything else can leave a person hurt, demoralised and possibly brokenhearted.

You go to mediation for a mutual agreement that both disputants design with the help of a qualified mediator.

This is the great thing about the Irish judiciary as they are the ones who are advocating mediation more than any other body in Irish society currently. They know the benefits and have seen the effects of financial ruin from litigation.

The mediation is a four part process which a qualified mediator guides both parties through.

• Story
• Issues
  
• Solutions
• Agreement

This is a consequential stage by stage process the registered and qualified mediator has training in safely guiding you through.

Personally I have been attracted to mediation as something that empowers people rather than dis-empowers them. People get to speak and get stuff off their chest without a clever barrister putting words in their mouth and cornering them through cross examination.

As a mediator you have to be centered, so my martial arts training gives me that, and silent at times so the disputants can negotiate an agreement or appeal to each others humanity. As many people who know me from my meditation training I can stay silent for hours if  I have too. Presence and being present is another aspect. Mostly its the deadlocks that have been destroying peoples wellbeing with stress diffusing. Mostly transformation alchemy.

You can witness the most profound transformations in mediations and put an end to a lot of suffering.